I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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