Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
