HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
