sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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