At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
