My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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