I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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