i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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