i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
