Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
