Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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