so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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