Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I supernannyed him into submission
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