if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
