I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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