Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
