so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
