I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
