Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
