My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Randomize
