Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My life is pants optional.
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