Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
