Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
