I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
