They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's always time for handjobs
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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