Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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