I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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