forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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