remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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