called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
