Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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