Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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