her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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