I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
