somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
