Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
