Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
