I'm going to jail i love you
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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