Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
