i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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