Is it normal to miss your booty call?
accomplished twins. life is a go
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
