Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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