Ambien. No doubt about it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
