i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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