Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
