I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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