I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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