i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
