Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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