we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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