quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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