I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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