I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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