I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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