I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
