it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
