I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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