worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
